Some things seem unreal. Like me sitting here and writing this blog post right now, it feels like a dream. Is this my life? Am I really announcement this to the world?
In November, we found out we are having a baby! I am 21 weeks as of this moment, and we now know that baby J is a baby BOY! Somehow, even more than 5 months in, and 2 weeks into having an actual bump… it still just somehow doesn’t seem like real life. I guess some things are just too much for a person’s brain to handle. I am going to be a Mom! I am going to have a son. My husband is now going to be a Father. I pretty much always thought that one day I would have kids (except for maybe a few times here and there after marriage where I questioned if I did want to be a Mother). But I can still imagine myself as a child, and even telling my parents that I never wanted to move away and live without them. And they assured me that one day I would want to live with my own husband and family. Even in imagining having children, I don’t think you can really wrap your mind around it, and I probably own’t until that baby it earth-side.
Life can just be so crazy. I do not remember feeling THIS overwhelmed with newness or unfamiliarity when Nick and I got married. I suppose that being pregnant and birthing a child, and forever being someone’s Mama is just something that truly changes everything in a way that nothing else has before.
I have found myself wondering about who this person will be so many times. Now that we know it’s a boy I feel a little more familiarity to this human being inside my body. But what will he look like? Who will he become? What will he love, be interested in, be good at, be passionate about? What will his personality be like and who will he one day fall in love with? I pray for health, for blessings, for a child who I can raise to know and love his Savior. I pray for my husband and I to be good parents, by loving each other well, by following the Lord, and by being a team. I don’t think I’ve ever been so overwhelmed with emotions in my entire life. And even though there’s some fear and even anxiety about what is to come, the joy is overwhelming.
My dear friend Julie of Julie Wilhite Photography came to our home to take a few images of Nick and I together to announce that we are expecting our baby boy in July, and although we really only needed one, I love these images so much that I felt like I wanted to share more than just one and give them place to live. Thank you to Julie for being there to photograph so many monumental moments in my life.